The following post was sent to me by a student of mine. I thought it was incredibly powerful, I guess you connect with Clifford when you have small children...I asked if I could share this on my blog, the person graciously consented.When I was little I used to be obsessed with collecting stuffed animals. I’m an animal lover so I always loved pretending that the animal was real and was my pet or something like that. Hours of my time were spent playing with them with my friends or by myself. To this day I can’t make myself get rid of any of them- even though I have about five hundred- because of the memories and stories behind each one.
Each one had special assets to them that I loved about them, but there was one specific animal that held a special place in my heart. It was a Clifford dog that I think my mom had gotten while she was still teaching. I’ve never been able to figure out what made him so different from the others that made me love him more, but he was definitely my favorite out of the whole lot.
I had to take him everywhere. No matter if we were going to the grocery store five minutes away or on vacation five hours away. He had to come. If I didn’t have him it was trouble. During the day it was ok, I could just deal with it. But when it got to be bedtime, everyone would be searching franticly for Clifford cause they knew the consequences if I didn’t have him.
I had to have him to sleep. I couldn’t sleep without him. I would cry and toss and turn and when I finally would manage to fall asleep I would have bad dreams all throughout the night.
Of course it seems silly to me now, but then I really felt like I needed him to sleep well. It gave me comfort to know that he was there with me all night. Id wrap my arms around him and he’d “sleep” next to me all night, there to chase away the bad dreams and keep the monsters under my bed at bay. At that age, I had no reason not to believe that he would protect me from all my fears and worries, and things that went bump in the night. I could sleep peacefully, not afraid of what was lurking in the shadows.
As I grew older I soon grew out of Clifford, and didn’t require his presence to get a good nights sleep. I realized that as the boogie man and bed bugs weren’t real, neither was my need for a watch dog in the bed with me every night. I still got scared every now and then, but I was old enough to assure myself of the silliness of it, and thus no longer had the need of sweet little Clifford.
Now I’m teenager, and have much bigger problems and worries than what may be hiding in my closet coming to get me just as I fall asleep. I’ve traded my boogie man for worries like what I’m doing about college, and where I’m gonna go. Now, if i cry myself to sleep its not because I don’t have some stuffed animal I think I need, but for the hurt that’s been inside me for one reason or another. It’s now more than ever, when my fears have grown up along with me, that I need something to wrap my arms around and squeeze with all my strength, having confidence that the object can suck up all the bad things and chase away the nightmares, leaving me peaceful so I can actually get a good night’s rest.
Psalms 91:1-6
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty… You will not fear the terror of the night… nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness.
Matthew 11: 28
Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Psalms 62:5-8
Find rest, o my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him…. He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
God is kind of like my grown up Clifford. He watches over me as I sleep and chases away my fears and nightmares. He gives me peace and helps me to rest. He’s the Almighty Comforter and Protector. I can take hold of Him when I’m scared, knowing that He will not only quiet my fears, but will go further even to help me conquer them. And I don’t even have to worry about forgetting to pack Him; He’s already there, waiting for me to embrace Him with all my strength and hand over my fears for Him to handle.
It is a wonderful book that asks the question that Jesus posed to James and John when they wanted to know if they could sit at Jesus' right hand. In his characteristic style Nouwen weaves the gospel with life to make one see with fresh eyes the way of the Savior. This quote stuck out in my mind, "We need to remind each other that the cup of joy, that precisely what causes us sadness can become the fertile ground for gladness." So often we forget this truth, but the cross is a living reminder of the source of our sadness, the death of our Lord and Savior becoming the source of gladness as we experience new life and walk with him daily. Perhaps as you approach Holy Week you can be encouraged that the difficulty you are going through will eventually turn to praise to God.
