I am reading a new book by Tish Harrison Warren entitled Prayer in the Night. She wrote this book after a season of loss she experienced with a move half-way across the country, the passing of her father, and two miscarriages. She recounts how she found great solace in praying. She took up the practice of praying compline, a traditional evening prayer practiced by many Christians, especially within the Anglican communion across the world. In the Prologue she writes, "Most often, we take up prayer not out of triumphant victory or unimpeachable trust but because prayer shapes us; it works back on us to change who we are and what we believe" (9).
In my own experiences with prayer, I have witnessed how my prayer life is less shaped by me and more about the process of being shaped by the Holy Spirit as I surrender myself to the Lord's authority in my life. Prayer opens me to the possibility of what the Lord is teaching me, sharing with me, and shaping me to become. Prayer opens my heart to those around me experiencing loss or grief. Prayer makes me sensitive to the needs of people I encounter in the coffee shop, at the store, and in my own home. When I pray, my defenses are lowered and I see others the way I see myself, a fragile human in need of God's mercy, grace, and love to make it through each day.
This week, I have found my prayers opening to me the mystery of our journey towards the cross. It's been a challenging week in our house as we all had to quarantine, but it's been a week in which the Lord opened to me the needs of others in ways that are too often overlooked.